Oh, hang on, you meant our rules, not Frank's! *scrabbles around among sundry bits of paper* Here we go...
 

1.	There is nothing in the world sufficient chocolate can't cure.
2.	If you do nothing else today - change the world.

Woops! They're my rules not our rules. Okay, lucky last try... 
 

1.	To join the FBI you must have participated in the TheBill.com Forum for at least one month, or be otherwise known to the Committee.
2.	You must be prepared to defend Burnside against calumny and slander at all times.
3.	You must observe International Burnside Day on the 16th December. Traditional methods of celebrating include flushing a suspect's head down the bog, posting a Burnside message on Forum, drinking a nice single malt in the Canley Arms or spending the day in a bad suit and tie.  ;o)
4.	You must be of suitable character to be one of Burnside's Immortals – no big girl's blouses, slags, toerags or seagulls need apply.
5.	And, like Chris Ellison, you must be able to say, "I love Burnside because he's such an unmitigated bastard."

*Phew* we think that's all but we reserve the right to change the rules without any notice at all and demand mind-bogglingly large amounts of cash (in US dollars for convenience's sake) to be placed into our offshore bank accounts. We have lavish lifestyles to maintain you know and good quality single malt doesn't come cheaply neither Guv'nor.

 back to top » join the fbi