Written by: Lizzie Mickery
Directed by: Jamie Nuttgens
Produced by: Ian White

Two minutes and thirty two seconds into the first episode of Burnside Frank Burnside slammed a villain against a handy bit of furniture and snarled, "You're nicked!" and his audience relaxed comfortably back into their armchairs – Burnside was indeed back. A few minutes later he was uttering a classic sort of Burnside-ism –

"You're not a bunch of glove puppets with my hand up your backside."

- and it was almost as though he hadn't been away. Of course it's 13 years since Frank became Sun Hill's DI and nine since he went away, so things have changed since those halcyon days. He's older, greyer, broader and a wee touch more politically correct. It's a good thing he has been working on his political correctness as he's been endowed with a gay black male DS, Dave Summers, and a FEMALE DC, Sam Philips (capitals and bold fully meant). Sam Philips behaves as though she's the first woman to ever brave the Police Service – shame she can't talk to Viv Martella if she thinks she's got it tough! Burnside summed her up nicely, in my opinion, when he said,

"Let your head disappear too far up your arse...it's difficult to see what's goin' on around you."

This episode is the first part of a two-episode story arc, which in turn forms part of the complete six episode story arc, which makes up this series of Burnside. It starts with Burnside arriving to take up his new position at the National Crime Squad – known to criminals as the British version of the FBI and to unimpressed divisional coppers as 'No Crimes Solved'. Burnside, of course, has his own reasons for being there – the chance to finally get the man who shot his mate, Barry Foxton, nearly twenty years ago. To add a fresh sprinkling of salt to the wound, Ronnie Buchan is currently being feted for his book about his experiences as an East End criminal in the 'good old days'. To fit this – the shooting and Burnside being either a DC or a DS under Jim Summers - into known Burnside chronology, it is must have been about three years before we first saw him as a wide boy DS but quite a few years after Operation Countryman.

As always Burnside has a nice line in schmoozy sirs that indicate no respect whatsoever, takes great delight in not fulfilling people's expectations of him and has a multitude of ways to skin any unfortunate feline he wants skinless. He also has his usual nice way with words. Moz has already captured most of his best lines on our Statements page but two things stood out for me when he was discussing his mate's death –

"…one of those seconds you could put your foot through."
"…my best mate's brains on my best suit."

To briefly summarise the story so far, he is chasing Billy Holden, an ex-cop gun dealer, whom he believes to be supplying slags with their armouries, as part of a larger plan to get Ronnie Buchan. Throw in the teenage son of Billy Holden's middleman who's just shot dead a bunch of teenage bullies, two other DCs who appear to be little more than Trevs with names, a bleached blond snout named Tony Shotton, played by Shane Ritchie (whose change of hair colour was big news in the UK) and you've pretty much got it. Sam Philips so far seems to spend most of her time whinging in a difficult to understand – at least for this poor colonial - accent. Dave Summers, being both black and gay, was always going to be written as a thoroughly nice chap – and he is. He does have the good taste to realise the new boss is pretty damn good so one must forgive him a lot, though. As a final comment I'd have to say that I found Burnside turning out to be such a marvellously good shot somewhat surprising, not to say unbelievable. I can't remember him holding a pink card in the old days, although perhaps he simply didn't want to have anything to do with guns after watching his friend die. On the other hand, of course, he may not have honed his skills on a police firing range but whilst being a hardman with a drug mob in Manchester.

On his first day as Sun Hill's DI Burnside declared,

"Makes no difference to me whether people like me or not."

His life philosophy - which I still don't believe - doesn't seem to have changed much these days.

"I couldn't give a toss whether you like me or not - as long as you do the work, obey orders, don't score an own goal it's good enough for me, but there are some things which do matter to me. Mock 'em and forget offended – I'm angry."

DCI Burnside – Chris Ellison
DC Sam Philips – Zoe Eeles
DS Dave Summers – Justin Pierre
Billy Holden – Charles Dale
John Renfrew – Roderic Culver
Supt Brian Lee – Andrew Readman
Tony Shotton – Shane Ritchie
Jim Summers – Tony Selby
Ronnie Buchan – Paul Nicholas
DC Chris Gibson – Paul Gilmore
DC Pete Moss – John White
Matthew Hutchins – Michael Smiley
John Petrie – Jake Nightingale
Linda – Jan Ellis
Ben Renfrew – Michael Tucek
DI Matthews – Ian Ashpitel
DI Catter – Kate Rutter
Burger bar Manager – Alistair Stewart
Arnie – Justin Pickett
Maddy – Daniella Isaacs
Buffet Girl – Lise Stevenson
Julie – Hannah Downing
Micky – James Lee
Geary – Ricky Woodgate

© Avon 2001

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